i promised !!!

i promised to myself

will never walk alone at night

because it's so scary

until i want to cry out

especially the way from my hostel to the guard house

it's dark and yet not much people pass by

some more there is so many foreignness at night

i ran outside and then ran back to hostel

my "ran" means at here is

walk super duper faster

alright

i'm safe now

luckily

hahahahahahahahahahaha

hate looking by guys

especially at night

hate walking alone

especially there is not much light

hate walking alone

especially today is a windy night

hate sleeping alone

especially in this lonely night

haha

said want to be mature

i must do it!!!

and i must success!!!

i'm 21 this year

everything are changing

my mind...my characters...my relationships...my opinions...my lifestyle

wish that i can adapt to it

because i know the condition for now

is much more better than what i will have after two and a half years later on

if i can survive

means that i may survive after this 2.5 years

actually i hate it

i don't like my life have so much changes

without any announcements

all of us are grown up

and almost everything are changed

i want my life to be simple

simplest will be the best for me

because i'm lazy

i'm lazy to change

starts to experience the tastes of life

grow...old...illness...death

recently

there are so many things happened

went to two funeral within two weeks

wonder why

dear told me that it's a life cycle

we're giving birth to

and so

we will experience death

and don't feel too sad

NO!!!

i just can't accept

i can't accept why we have to experience all of these??

can't we just live happily like what we did like past??

NO!!!

of course i know we can't

one day

we will experience death too

~nothing to say~

whatever

i promised to myself

i have to be tough enough to face everything

don't rely on others too much

the most reliable one for us

is OURSELF

because when our mum giving birth to us

we came alone

when we're going back to our god

we are leaving alone

so

we must have the ability to face and solve everything by ourself

till the end

we will still experience everything by ourself

because....

our parents will leave one day

our lover will leave one day

non of us will escape from this cycle